Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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