just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
