i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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