Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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