i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize