I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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