Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
