apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
