a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
