i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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