I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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