me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
