Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
