I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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