When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the condom got lost in my hair
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Randomize
