ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
