she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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