you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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