Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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