He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
