she was so not down for the gang bang
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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