i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
