I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Randomize
