They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
