I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
