i would punch a child for taco bell
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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