I want to stick my p in your. b.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
