I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
