just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
