we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Randomize
