Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
