so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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