I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
