Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
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That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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