That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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