is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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