this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
