Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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