It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
