normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
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There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
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All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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