i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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