was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I have post one night stand depression
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