is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
