tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize