Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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