batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize