I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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