Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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