Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
