Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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