woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't deserve a penis
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
