Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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