im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have aggressive nipples.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
