Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
