margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
