I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
we're so committed to being not committed
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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