Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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