the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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