I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
