Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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