Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
