Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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