I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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