the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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