how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
