Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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