Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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