I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
