All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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